A Bridge Too Far
But, General Gove and Colonel Twigg have competing plans for ending the problem quickly, (and being the first to get re-elected). Under political pressure, Supreme Allied Commander David Cameron chooses Gove's plan Operation Muckup Educating.
Operation Muckup Educating targets results being dropped as much as 64% behind guide lines in the Otherlands. The
largest examination system assault ever attempted, General Gove says,
"We're going to lay a carpet, of academia" over which bamboozled
divisions of students can pass and confidently suggests that "We shall
seize the Oxbridges - it's all a question of Oxbridges.
After the Muckup Educating command briefing, the teaching unions voice their deep
doubts that the plan can work. Head teachers worry about dropping new tests
into the curriculum in daylight.
The Liberal Democrats present at that briefing do not
question the orders, but Field Marshall Clegg walks up to check the briefing
officer's uniform insignia and says "Just making sure whose side you're
on." Later, when General Gove briefs his officers, some of them are
surprised they are going to attempt a testing system so far from the Oxbridge
standard, but they have to make the best of it.
General Gove tells them that the key to overcoming the
distance from the drop in standards zone to the Oxbridge, is the use of Ewoks
to bring in old fashioned tests of knowledge and understanding. Gove says that
if any one group fails, the entire operation fails.
The consensus among the Conservative top brass is that
resistance will consist entirely of Labour Youth or old men, but a young British
intelligence officer, brings information to General Gove, showing think tanks
are dug in and will inevitable crush his plans for an advance in examination
standards.
At this point things take a rather more sage turn from
the debacle at Arnhem that cost so many allied and German lives as:
Gove announces plans
to scrap GCSEs in key subjects in England and replace them with English
Baccalaureate Certificates are being abandoned by the government. He said plans
for the new exams had been "a bridge too far".
I'm guessing it wasn't sugar you sprinkled on your cornflakes this morning. That post was seriously off the wall. The girls of St Trinian's would've taken the bridge by morning break.
ReplyDelete